Feeling Ambitious #1

Since I'm feeling ambitious today, I am posting a subject about a catalyst responsible for my psoriasis.  There is a great deal of medical information on the web.  Research is an onerous task, and even more onerous when you have other priorities in life such as how to "make a living" (even if that means dying to make a living).  Therefore, to make things easier for all of us here, I have presented a simple outline below that will lightly touch subjects related to my psoriasis flare-ups.
 
I.  My job as HHA
II.  Happiness and Moving On
III.  Step towards Progress

I.  My job as HHA
Through my experience, I find that the demands of my job as a home health aide, or simply known as HHA or CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) is difficult and stressful.  One simple stimulus is enough to trigger some emotional/mental tension within me.  Stressors at home affect my work and school, and vice versa.  In addition, I ALWAYS experience a certain degree of anxiety, frustration, and insecurities while making decisions.  My decisions at work are based on doctor's/nurses' instructions, client's appointments, and any unexpected events.  Recently, I can literally feel new itchy papules of acne arising on my chest when the pressure of completing a task on time and avoiding further delay is on.  Quick shift and quick adjustments with many people to tend in short amount of time is like running around for one minute to feed ten people before they fall asleep.  It is that impossible, yet I do the impossible at work.  I work as if I have superhuman strength!  I cannot say that my clients' safety and needs take priority over my health.  I am too nice, and perhaps, dumb, I suppose.  Thus...

06.07.13  My chest with acne or guttate psoriasis.

My skin prior to psoriasis was healthy.

II.  .Happiness and Moving On
..I am no longer interested in earning a living sacrificing my health, facing the prospect of death and leaving behind my family with MY debt and MY unfinished "business."  I used to be happy, but in my twenty-three years of my life here on Earth, my happiness appeared to be short-lived.  The sudden demise of my "happiness" left me a blank mind (or an "empty can" of a head), and worries.  I have terrible longings for my life back every now and then, which only make matters worse because I HAVE TO MOVE ON.  My former existence was like a surreal aspect of my life.  Right now, I do not feel that the body I have at this moment is my body.  I am not adjusted to the sights I see every morning when I wake up.  The discovery of new plaques and pimples imprint greatly on my self-esteem.  Therefore, I want to make myself better.  I am in desperate need to get better mentally and physically.  

III.  Step towards Progress
And hopefully, I can influence others around me to choose wisely in actions and in words without feeling regret or guilt.  Wise words and actions are not intended to hurt people, but to build up one another.  My words to my boyfriend tend to be belligerent, and I am sorry (He tells me I'm too Korean).  And I am sorry for myself, too.  But I will move one step at a time.  

My current plan of action:
1.  I have to be mindful of my words.  This means I will THINK BEFORE I SPEAK.  If anyone challenges or provokes me, I will THINK BEFORE I SPEAK. 

2.  I will do the best I can and let God handle the rest.  

3.  NO MORE JUNK FOOD for me.

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward" ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

 Cheers to a new tomorrow!